The Ten Commandments of Love

1. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, or badmouth me behind my back.

3. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

4. Honor MY mother and father.

5. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK of it if thou knowest what’s good for thee.

7. Thou shalt not steal from my purse, not use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls on my telephone.

8. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

9. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Squeeze, nor stereo, nor BMW.

We had a fantastic time at the wedding today!

First we met eleven family members from far away as Mesa AZ for a noon buffet lunch at “Sweetwaters” restaurant near the hotel.  Great food and lots of fun.

The church is located in a difficult spot behind a K Mart shopping center.  Everyone’s GPS got them lost – including us.  But no one was too late for the service if they left early!!!

I will not lie to you – I was nervous for this event.  Maybe more emotional than nervous so I had to really control the adrenalin.  After doing many wedding ceremonies this was close to the heart to walk to the altar with my youngest son to officiate at his wedding.  Eric got teary eyed at the beginning and so I could not put my eyes to him or I got choked up.  But we go through the service.

Our daughter, Karin, sang so beautifully for the processional and during the candle lighting.  Her voice and emotion goes right to my heart too and that was a big deal.

We then stood in the receiving line and then stood for a gazillion photos.  I checked my watch and it was an hour and a half standing.  My back was getting tired.  It was good to sit down at the reception and visit with friends for church and family and neighbors. The food was excellent.

We also had Jim and Lu come to the wedding and reception.  They were good friends from Union Church back in Monroe at our first church. Now they live up here in Colfax. Faithful Blog Readers, they are!

The matron of honor and Best man really gave wonderful tribute speeches to Eric and Brittany.  Then the party got a shakin’ and a bakin’!

Dance to the music – we all did.  But I had not seen Eric dance like he did.  He was a Michael Jackson on the dance floor with all the smooth moves.  And he and Brittany and their Madison friends had learned swing dancing – was that cool to watch.  I let loose a couple times and really had a joyful time out on the floor with those “young people.” My form of free spontaneous “liturgical dance.”

Now it is five minutes to midnight as I write this blog post.  I am tired but it is the best good tired I have had in a long long time.  God is good.  Thanks for your love and prayers.

I asked, “Do you…?” They each responded, “I do.”  And I thought to myself, “They really have no clue at all what is involved in this institution called marriage.”  God bless them!

After issuing drivers licenses for over 20 years the clerk took a new job with the  County Court House.  He was assigned to issue marriage licenses.  First day on the job he got into trouble. Young couples were leaving his desk red faced and angry.  The Register of Deeds came over to find out what was wrong.

“I can’t seem to help it,” muttered the dismayed clerk. “I just can’t get out of the habit of asking whether they want the license for business of pleasure.”

______________

Bride: “He’s so romantic.  Every time he speaks to me he starts with, ‘Fair Lady.’”
Attendant: “Romantic, my eye. He used to be a bus driver.”

__________

A widower asked the computer dating service to find her the perfect mate: “I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities.”
Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin.”

_______________________

An 75-year-old widow went on a blind date  with an 80-year-old man.  When she returned to her apartment building later that night, she seemed upset. “What happened? the neighbor asked.
“I had to slap his face three times!”
“You mean he got fresh?”
“No,” she answered. “I thought he was dead.”

__________________________

I’m getting ready for a wedding. ONE MORE DAY…

Today is our 34th wedding anniversary.

Yippee!!

Each year Kathy has had a photo taken of us on this date. What a scrapbook that is!

Today, we will host the coffee hour after church. What fun to have another “reception.” Only this time we are the servers!

Then after it is all said and done and the crumbs cleaned up we go out to THE WISCONSIN ROOM at the American Club for their awesome Sunday Brunch. (Thanks Lucille and Bill!)

34 years — it seems only like 64…just kidding!

What might I give my Valentine this year to show her my undying devotion?  Roses – nope.  Chocolate -nope. Dinner and a Chick Flick – hardly.

This year I am driving Kathy to IKEA in Schaumburg, Illinois on Saturday morning.  She has wanted a special set of shelves for her scrapbooking.  Oh, how romantic!  Hey – at this stage of the game, this act will win me lots of “points.”

And she will buy me a Swedish meatball dinner on the top floor of Ikea.  Oh, the heights of love to which we ascend!

“Negotiating Family Time during the Holidays”

“It seems that because you aren’t making enough time for my family and me, you are being selfish during such an important time of the year.” Does this sound familiar? One of the numerous stressors that the holidays bring to marriage is deciding which extended family to spend the day with. While many couples simply alternate holiday time with one another’s extended families, nevertheless, there is often built up resentments and frustrations associated with merrymaking arrangements (ironically). So how does one navigate extended family time during the holidays so that everyone will still be having fun during the actual festivities?

“The three rules of negotiating family holiday visits are compromise, compromise, compromise,” according to Diana DelCampo, New Mexico State University’s Cooperative Extension Service’s family life specialist. Compromise is truly the all-encompassing virtue. This compromise should not only characterize your conversations but for deeper problems, characterize the renewed belief system that will help you get past the gridlock. Here are some suggestions to cheer up the holiday seasonsize

1. Expand your perspective when looking at the family picture— Intertwining your entire worlds and families at marriage is a beautiful concept, however most people focus on the differences between their own family and “the in-laws.” The many differences can be a blessing to children giving them a larger scope of life but oftentimes people focus on their in-laws’ weaknesses. Would there be as much frustration if you honestly cared as much for your in-laws as your own family? As your relationship grows it is important to remember to keep total respect and equal union with your spouse as your goal.

2. Rather than pointing fingers, examine any bias in yourself– Rather than becoming offended when your spouse does not seem to care enough about spending time with your family, take an inventory on you own feelings towards their family and if they arre negative, it is your duty to change it rather tham blaming your spouse. Some people may secretly harbor feelings that their family is somehow better than their spouses’. It is natural, considering family pride and that you have spent your entire life with your own family. If you have these thoughts, remember that you can learn something from everyone and try your hardest to focus on your in-laws best qualitites.

3. Discuss don’t assume—In D’Lyn Ford’s article on holiday family negotiation it says, “Making decisions and setting priorities can help keep the peace, as long as family members remember the art of compromise.” Communicate with your spouse any concerns and don’t forget to ask for the input of the kids.

4. Be creative and flexible- If you alternate time spent between extended families, be flexible enough to divert from the schedule during extenuating circumstances, such a loved one’s recent diagnosis of a terminal illness or a grandparent recenlty becoming single. Don’t rule out trying to spend the important day with both families either, if it can be done. “Another way that some stepfamilies deal with the holidays is having their own family celebration on another date, such as December 30, instead of December 25,” DelCampo said. “That way, you’re able to keep existing traditions and start a new one.”

This week come up with a plan to make this holiday season one that strengthens your marriage rather then weakens it.

Background: 95% of married couples are either satisfied or very satisfied with their marital relationship. The unhappy 5% will either cycle back into the 95% group or get divorced. At some point almost all marriages will transition into the unhappy 5%, but most move back into the 95% group over time.

Problem: As long as a couple is satisfied with their marital relationship they aren’t likely to seek out the tools that can prevent them from entering the unhappy group. However, we have found that when people read about these tools, over 90% will implement what they learn and most will teach the information to others.

Please help get these healthy marriage tips into the hands of couples in every possible way you can think of. Together, we can help more children, women and men access the positive social outcomes associated with healthy marriages. 2007 (c) The National Healthy Marriage Institute LLC.

You have permission to duplicate this tip as long as it is done in its entirety