The Ten Commandments of Love
1. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, or badmouth me behind my back.
3. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.
4. Honor MY mother and father.
5. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK of it if thou knowest what’s good for thee.
7. Thou shalt not steal from my purse, not use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls on my telephone.
8. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
9. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Squeeze, nor stereo, nor BMW.
