This lovely woman gave birth to this handsome lad 30 years ago in Monroe, Wisconsin. It was a bitter cold stretch of days before and after Andrew’s coming into the world. Kathy’s Mom and Dad didn’t even drive down from Manitowoc right away because of the Below Zero temperatures.
We took Andrew out for lunch at Majerle’s Bar and Grill in Black River. Being Friday they had the perch dinner. But I could not take my eyes off the Liver and Onions. It was all good! Thank God for the gift of a son!
Three contractors were on a tour of the Reagan White House. One was from Minnesota, another was from Tennessee, and the third was from Chicago. As they are walking through they notice a broken fence and ask if it would be possible to submit a bid to fix it. They are told of course.
All three go with Newt Gingrich to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to Gingrich and whispers, “$2,700.”
Gingrich, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies Gingrich.
A professor in a world-acclaimed medical school once posed this medical situation — and ethical problem — to his students: “Here’s the family history: The father has syphilis. The mother has TB. They already have had four children. The first is blind. The second had died. The third is deaf. The fourth has TB. Now the mother is pregnant again, The parents come to you for advice. They are willing to have an abortion, if you decide they should. What do you say?”
The students gave various individual opinions, and then the professor asked them to break into small groups for “consultation.” All of the groups came back to report that they would recommend abortion.
“Congratulations,” the professor said, “You just took the life of Beethoven!”
I believe this was first reported in an Ann Landers column.
Today’s Mormons shy away from theological debate, so much so that, Mr. Bowman observes, it’s “difficult to pin down what precisely orthodox Mormon belief is.” Mormons do believe that Joseph Smith was visited by an angel named Moroni who gave him, on plates of gold, a new work of Scripture called the Book of Mormon. Mormon fathers still, Mr. Bowman writes, “lay their hands on the heads of their children and invoke the power of God to seal blessings upon their heads.”
Writing last year in The New York Times Sunday Review, the literary scholar Harold Bloom was stern about this faith. “The accurate critique of Mormonism is that Smith’s religion is not even monotheistic, let alone democratic,” Bloom contended. “Indeed, they themselves expect to become gods, following the path of Joseph Smith.”
And so, he added, “The Mormon patriarch, secure in his marriage and large family, is promised by his faith a final ascension to godhead, with a planet all his own separate from the earth and nation where he now dwells.” Bloom worries about a man becoming president who actually believes he’ll get his own planet.
via ‘The Mormon People,’ Matthew Bowman’s Timely Church History – NYTimes.com.
A pastor thought God gave Him an idea, and he presented it in the monthly elders meeting. After giving his most impassioned plea and really “selling” the idea to the elder board, the board voted and voted down the pastors proposed changes 12-1. The head elder looked at the pastor and said, “Well pastor, it’s 12 votes to 1. Looks like you’ve been out voted. Looks like time is up for the evening, so will you please close in prayer.”
The pastor, not wanting to give up yet on what he felt God was leading him to do then lead in prayer. As he prayed, he lifted his hands up to heaven and prayed, “Loooorrrdddd – I know my brothers here do not have the same vision you have given me. Please help them to see that this is not MY vision, but YOOOOUUUUURRRR vision!”
At that exact moment, a lightning bolt with a loud clap of thunder burst in through the window in the meeting room, striking the table, splitting it in two and knocking all the elders to the floor. As the dust cleared, the pastor looked at the head elder and said – so, what do you think about that?
The head elder, dusting himself off, sighed and said, “Well, I guess that’s 12 votes to 2, then…”
My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. 
They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobodies friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments, wreck marriages, and ruin careers — cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses… I make headlines and headaches. Before you repeat a story, ask yourself, Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not – shut up!
Laura Schlessinger, The Ten Commandments: The Significance of God’s Laws in Everyday Life, p. 203
It is one of those mixed blessings of parenthood. You wake up on a weekend morning and detect the unmistakable singe of burnt toast in the air. There are clanging and banging sounds from the kitchen. Checking out the noise you discover your child busily preparing a “special breakfast” as a surprise for you.I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it ‘Pumping Rust’….
I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!
When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’ Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘A Good Doctor’!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.
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Sunday afternoon 7 of us from church went down to our new Covenant Church in Milwaukee. The youth from the church meet together with pastor D and other adults for some fun, fellowship, food and teaching and prayer. We picked up two six foot party subs from Wall-mart to serve the youth. a 6 ft. party sub is $28! Good deal.
I asked for a “love offering” in the 8:30 morning service to cover the cost of us bringing the food. The total given was $206 and I only asked for people to throw in a buck! We’ll be able to bring two more meals down to the group in the future! Thanks people!
The youth come in and play basketball, video games, computer games, and other games with each other and just hang out. Andy Hopp and Tyler ventured into the basketball game and survived! Pam and Shane served up the food and even brought home made cookies.
Pastor D talked with the group about the courage they need like Daniel did in Bible times: To stand out against the crowd and the pressures they feel. He asked the group, “How many of you have seen a friend get shot?” Half the group raised their hands! These kids live in a gang type war zone! They were afraid to go outside after dark.
Pastor D and his team are doing an incredible work creating a positive, fun, healthy and safe environment for teens to gather. We were blessed to learn about a bright spot in the urban jungle of Milwaukee!
During World War II, Jewish inmates of the Yanov labor camp in occupied Poland defied their Nazi guards, secretly conducting religious services inside their darkened barracks. To observe their ritual, the Jews had cut religious scrolls into sections, bound the parchment pieces around their bodies, and walked them through Yanov’s front gate. They hid the fragments wherever they could–beneath the floorboards of their barracks, inside hollow bedposts, even in a camp cemetery.
After the camp’s liberation in 1945, one survivor collected the scattered pieces. He assembled them into a single ragged scroll, the Yanov Torah. Three decades later, the Torah–its parchment warped and water-stained, its patchwork sheets held together by fraying threads–found its way to Los Angeles and into the hands of a leader of the city’s Reform Jewish community, Rabbi Erwin Herman, who devoted the final years of his life to telling its remarkable story.
Think of the dedication to the word of God that these people had! Imagine risking your life to keep a copy of the Bible–even if it was in fragments and hidden all manner of places. How much more should we hide the word of God in our hearts!
